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30 August 2010 @ 09:46 am
Its so weird that the only websites that i can go on are like, LJ and my oekaki's....and tegaki. OH, and I'm on the competers at school. Just to clarify. I take this class called computer programing and like, nothing happens in this class, its like just endless surfing on the internet which usually get's me no where because everything is BLOCKED. FFFFFF

After this I have Governement, then fifth, then detention and then lunch. :I I'm really not happy with this whole jobshadowing thing 20 hours a month....I wish my teacher could be a little more clear and maybe idk, print up a sheet or something. but what can I expect from a gym teacher. HEAVY SIGH THIS DAY.

Uhhh....thats it.

05 June 2010 @ 06:20 pm
So I think I'm going to use this thing to like, update about my trip and summer and what not because there's just SO SO SO MUCH to do. Plus that and its better then a blog. I might go looking for some icons right now just to cure my boredom at the moment. ;____;

Well anyway, I went shopping today and got like, three things for summer, all of which is UBER CUTE to me. Well, anyway, I wanted to go see Karate Kid on Monday, but guess what? Its NOT coming out on Monday. Just my luck. UGH, but i guess I'll just go and see it with my aunt and cousins.
24 March 2010 @ 06:06 pm
DID YOU ever find out
Which one of the O'Brien boys it was
Who snapped the toy pistol against my hand?
There when the flags were red and white
In the breeze and "Bucky" Estil
Was firing the cannon brought to Spoon River
From Vicksburg by Captain Harris;
And the lemonade stands were running
And the band was playing,
To have it all spoiled
By a piece of a cap shot under the skin of my hand,
And the boys all crowding about me saying:
"You'll die of lock-jaw, Charlie, sure."
Oh, dear! oh, dear!
What chum of mine could have done it?

-Spoon River Anthology
07 February 2010 @ 11:18 am
So i was talking to Lindsey about this movie I watched yesterday night with my neighbor, it went like this:

φαντασία says:
theres this obease, illiterate, black 17 year old
whos pregnant with the second baby of her FATHER
the first having downs-syndrome
and then she gets kicked out of school
and has to go to an alternetive school

Lindsey says:
oh my

φαντασία says:
where she learns to read,
her teachers a lesbian, her mothers abusive
and hits her daughter in the head with a frying pan

Lindsey says:
WOW what

φαντασία says:
and threatens to kill her if she gets them kicked off welfare
and then she has the baby
her father dies
they find out that he has AIDS
and that shes HIV positive
then she leaves home after her mother tries to kill her and her baby
then they end the movie with her getting her 7-8th grade education and she gets her kids while shes living in a halfway house.
and thats it
the big finish.

Lindsey says:
that's a lot
for one movie

φαντασία says:
me and my neighbor were just like. :/ wut?
oh, and she steals fried chicken
and lives in the getto
φαντασία says:

and falls down the stairs with her 3-day old baby
Lindsey says:

holy crap what else
φαντασία says:

and gets a tv thrown at her with her 3-year old baby

Lindsey says:
the hell

φαντασία says:
14 December 2009 @ 05:01 pm
I've been seeing myself as unbelievably ugly recently so today it was going to be nice to be able to come home and get dressed up for once, be able to look in the mirror and not cringe at the sight and want to kill myself for not being the way I want to be. It was going to be nice, and I spent most of the day wondering about what i could do to hide my acne and what I was going to wear to make myself look thinner, "Yeah, I could hide the scars I gave myself pretty well if I tried. Then my grandma will have something pretty of me to put on her wall" I though.

So stupid. Because of course I would have to screw it up. I always do. I sicken myself, and then I think giving myself a fuckin' black eye might make me feel better and get myself off of how bad I feel on the inside. I don't know why I though /I/ could do something nice for anybody, i cant even make myself look nice. I'm just an embarrassment to be around. I want to punch myself. Again and again but it will only make me uglier and crying wont make me prettier.

I know I'm so vain for someone so disgusting and I apologize for being such a lousy friend because of how insecure I am.
15 November 2009 @ 01:57 pm
...it might as well be for venting about how much of a fuck up I am.

Its like a downward spiral I cant stop. Its not like i can help it either. When I get upset I cant even cry in my own home because its too cold and the only reason why I cry is so people will ask me whats wrong. But because I also know no one even cares I just smile and keep them all inside like my mom taught me to do. Well Its beginning to get harder and harder to smile and I feel like I just fuck up every friendship I ever tried to build because i cant help. I'm to much of a passive aggressive, mean, heartless bitch to look outside myself and give someone else attention when they need it. Especially my really close friends. Sorry guys.

I want to lock myself up in the midst of all this teen angst until it simmers down. I'm not pretty enough to compete with all the rest of my classmates, I'm not smart enough to get the grades my parents want from me anymore. I'm just a screw up, plain and simple.

sniffle sniffle sob sob whatever. I hate myself this year, honestly. I'm pretty sure i cant even get to heaven anymore.

24 October 2009 @ 07:39 am
really boring time' now.

I'm at my moms workspace because the people I was supposed to be shadowing forgot or something and there to busy to take care of me at the moment. But my mom's being cool and letting me use her computer. C:
26 August 2009 @ 07:56 pm
Making Lompoc con. for all you Lompoc residents.
I think it should be a barb e' Q
With lots of Cosplay and shit.
I'm going to start this muthahfucka reall soon.
So going now, admittion is FREE, besides the cost of trytip and ribs (Lettuce for you vegy lovers)
Oh, and did I mention all the awsome stuff thats going on in LOMPOC con?
its going to be epic, see you there at RyanPark.

Love sam, the freak who cant co to Ax and is now making her own con.
14 July 2009 @ 12:59 am
"The Wienermobile travels around the country and entices children to try Oscar Mayer meats that can set them on the road to developing life-threatening illnesses,"

.....really? >C

05 July 2009 @ 08:17 pm

I helped create this thing and want new members and stuff. Its like twilight without the suck. :x lol. So yeah, some people should come and join it.
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